Things I’ve heard kids say.

A lot of what I do involves working with children and that means I get to hear MANY of the things they say.

1. Kid: I know what the red and green lights do.
Me: Okay, what does the red light do?
Kid: Stop!
Me: What about the green light?
Kid: Go!
Me: Good! What about the orange light?
Kid: *looks confused* There is no orange light?!

2. Me while teaching my lesson at Sunday school: …and Jesus frees people.
Kid: He doesn’t FREEZE people?!

3. While reading a children’s Bible to a 2.5 year-old girl…
Me: Mary was looking forward to getting married.
Girl: I’m looking forward to getting married too!
I told her Dad to keep an eye on her.

4. Girl 1: I’m allergic to bacon.
Me: Umm, sure, okay.
Girl 2: Wait, do you eat pork?
Girl 1: Yeah, I eat pork.

5. Me while teaching about good turns at Guides: So, what are some examples of good turns you do?
Girl: I help Mum carry the shopping, I give Mum massages and help her cook.
Me: You do all those things?
Girl: Nope.

6. One of the activities for Guides was sorting different currencies into different categories, i.e. paper vs plastic or sorting by countries. I overheard one group sorting the notes into “old” and “young” so I wandered over to investigate.
Me: Oh, so you’re sorting the notes into old notes and new notes?
Girl: Nope, we’re sorting them by the people on the note.
Me: Huh?
Girl: If the guy on the note is old, it goes in this pile. If he’s young, it goes in this pile.
Genius.

7. While babysitting one day, myself and the young girl were playing with blocks when she suddenly exclaims “Boys wee standing up!”
Me: O…kay?
Girl: And girls wee sitting down!
Me: Umm…
I mean, how am I supposed to respond to that?

8. Girl: Umm, excuse me? I’m allergic to salad.
Me: I’m sure you are…

9. While playing with stuffed toys…
Girl: Ted goes next to Hippo the Thomas.
Me: Next to who?
Girl: Hippo the Thomas!
She meant hippopotamus. So much cute.

10. Me: You have a new baby sister – how exciting!
Boy: Yeah, her name is Alyssa.
Me: That’s such a pretty name!
Boy: Well, it used to be a secret. And then she got borned and then we told everyone.

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