Things I’ve heard kids say – Part 2

I realised I had a poop-load more after writing the first post, so I just had to do a part 2.

1. “My favourite country is Greece because I like the movie Grease.”
Now, I didn’t actually hear this one from the girl who said it, but it has got to be one of my favourite quotes from a child ever.

2. Me: “Do you reckon you’d need to be good with animals to be a vet?”
Girl: “I’m good with animals because I have a fish and I only feed it sometimes.”
Should I be concerned?

3. Girl: When I grow up I want to be a servant.
Me: A…servant?
Girl: Yeah, like a servant at a restaurant.
Me: You mean a waitress?
Girl: Yeah, a waitress.

4. *A continuation from the conversation in #3*
Me: So, do you think you’d need to go to university to be a waitress?
Girl: Yes, coz it’s really hard work.

5. I’d just taught a lesson at Sunday School about how Jesus turned water into wine and I demonstrated this by adding purple jelly crystals to water. I was reviewing the lesson when this happened.
Me: So, Jesus turned…
Boy: Purple?!

6. While babysitting…
Girl: Get your bag, we’re going to Australia.
Me: Okay. What are we gonna do there?
Girl: Just work and stuff.
Me: Are we gonna do anything fun?
Girl: Yeah, work and stuff!

7. Me: Alright kids, it’s time to do some worship. What song would you like to sing today?
Boy: Frozen!!
Not sure if that constitutes as worship…

8. A little boy at church: You’re tall like my daddy.
Pretty sure I’m half his dad’s size.

9. I overheard this conversation on the bus one day.
Boy 1: Who’s higher up – a professor or some who has a PhD?
Boy 2: I think it’s the professor, coz he has elbow pads.

10. Me: And what do you think is in the special place that Jesus is preparing for us?
Boy: Legoland?

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Things I’ve heard kids say.

A lot of what I do involves working with children and that means I get to hear MANY of the things they say.

1. Kid: I know what the red and green lights do.
Me: Okay, what does the red light do?
Kid: Stop!
Me: What about the green light?
Kid: Go!
Me: Good! What about the orange light?
Kid: *looks confused* There is no orange light?!

2. Me while teaching my lesson at Sunday school: …and Jesus frees people.
Kid: He doesn’t FREEZE people?!

3. While reading a children’s Bible to a 2.5 year-old girl…
Me: Mary was looking forward to getting married.
Girl: I’m looking forward to getting married too!
I told her Dad to keep an eye on her.

4. Girl 1: I’m allergic to bacon.
Me: Umm, sure, okay.
Girl 2: Wait, do you eat pork?
Girl 1: Yeah, I eat pork.

5. Me while teaching about good turns at Guides: So, what are some examples of good turns you do?
Girl: I help Mum carry the shopping, I give Mum massages and help her cook.
Me: You do all those things?
Girl: Nope.

6. One of the activities for Guides was sorting different currencies into different categories, i.e. paper vs plastic or sorting by countries. I overheard one group sorting the notes into “old” and “young” so I wandered over to investigate.
Me: Oh, so you’re sorting the notes into old notes and new notes?
Girl: Nope, we’re sorting them by the people on the note.
Me: Huh?
Girl: If the guy on the note is old, it goes in this pile. If he’s young, it goes in this pile.
Genius.

7. While babysitting one day, myself and the young girl were playing with blocks when she suddenly exclaims “Boys wee standing up!”
Me: O…kay?
Girl: And girls wee sitting down!
Me: Umm…
I mean, how am I supposed to respond to that?

8. Girl: Umm, excuse me? I’m allergic to salad.
Me: I’m sure you are…

9. While playing with stuffed toys…
Girl: Ted goes next to Hippo the Thomas.
Me: Next to who?
Girl: Hippo the Thomas!
She meant hippopotamus. So much cute.

10. Me: You have a new baby sister – how exciting!
Boy: Yeah, her name is Alyssa.
Me: That’s such a pretty name!
Boy: Well, it used to be a secret. And then she got borned and then we told everyone.