Wearing glasses is a struggle.

Took a trip to the optometrist today. There’s something about getting my eyesight tested that makes me feel really uncomfortable. Anyway, this kinda gave me an idea for a post. Being a glasses-wearer, there are many annoying things that I have to put up with. Here are a few of my struggles.

1. Rain.
If I’ve got my glasses on but no umbrella, walking in the rain in the worst. I’d only be able to take a couple of steps before my glasses are covered in raindrops, rendering me as good as blind. And then I have to wait til I get under cover before I can take them off and wipe them. But it takes me a longer time to get under shelter because I CAN’T SEE. I’ve been saying this for years, but someone needs to invent windscreen wipers for glasses.

2. People who “test” my eyesight.
Telling me to take my glasses off and then asking me how many fingers you’re holding up is not cool. That is not how eye tests work. You are not an optometrist. Also, I’m not that blind. So please just stop. Oh, this also applies to people who like to point to things and ask “Can you read that?” Please, I know I have bad eyesight, I don’t need you to remind me. Just. Stop.

3. People who try on my glasses and are surprised at the result.
These people…I can’t even. They ask to try on my glasses, so I politely oblige while thinking “Please don’t put your oily fingers on the lens or I will murder you.” They then put the glasses on and proceed to squeal “How do you see out of these?! Everything is so blurry! OMG I’m getting a headache.” Excuse me, the reason you can’t see properly is because the glasses were tailored for my eyes because they are my glasses. *facepalm* To be honest though, I haven’t really had to deal with this since high school, and I’m so glad.

4. “You should try contacts.”
This annoys me the most when it comes from people who have never had any experience with contacts. Have you SEEN how you put contacts in?! You stick your finger IN YOUR EYE. Like, YOU TOUCH YOUR EYE. I am not okay with that. I’m a little bit like Rachel from Friends in that I have a weird phobia about things touching my eye. Therefore, contacts + me = nope. For the record, I have actually tried contacts. Twice. Both times I sat with my optometrist for 30 minutes trying to put the damn lenses in my eye. When I eventually got them in, I couldn’t get them out. Never again…

5. 3D glasses.
Whether it’s at a 3D movie or on a 3D ride at a theme park, trying to fit 3D glasses over your glasses is such a struggle. They never sit the way they’re meant to and will slide off your face with the slightest touch. This makes 3D movies and rides very unpleasant experiences, which is sad because I really do want to enjoy these things. Unfortunately, I have to decide between being able to see but struggling to keep the 3D glasses on or having the 3D glasses sit properly but being blind.

The struggle is real, you guys.

Great Expectations.

Yes, it’s exam period. Yes, I’m supposed to be studying. No, this isn’t really procrastination. It’s something that has been on my mind for years and I figured there really isn’t a better time for me to write about it than right now.

I expect a lot from myself. Sometimes, I push these high expectations onto those around me. It’s really bad.

I’m not sure why I expect so much from myself. My parents never pressured me to be the best. They never compared me to my cousins or friends. They always told me that my best is all that I can give, and that they’re happy if I do everything to the best of my abilities. All the pressure I put on myself comes from within. At it’s worst, the pressure tells me to stop doing things that I’m not the best at. Basically it tells me to give up if I can’t be #1, which is stupid because that would mean never getting anywhere in life.

These expectations extend beyond academics. If I plan an event, it has to be perfect. If I bake something, it has to be perfect. Heck, this post has to be perfect. And it doesn’t matter how many times people tell me something is fine the way it is. If it isn’t exactly how I planned it in my head, it isn’t perfect. I have a problem.

Things are going to change though.

I recently completed a 5-week clinical placement during which I learnt an invaluable lesson. No one expects me to know everything, so I shouldn’t expect myself to know everything. I started clinics by putting immense pressure on myself. It was incredibly unrealistic. I expected myself to know the program inside out when in reality, we’d only had one 3-hour class introducing us to the material. I kept kicking myself every time I did something wrong or forgot to say certain things. It was exhausting. I wasn’t doing as terribly as I thought I was though. By my clinical educator’s standards, I was exceeding all expectations. She reminded me that this was my first clinical experience and that I wasn’t expected to be perfect. Even experienced clinicians make mistakes, and mistakes are okay.

This lesson is something I’m going to carry with me to my next clinic and for the rest of my life. It’s unrealistic to expect myself and others to be perfect. We can never be perfect because we are all flawed. That doesn’t mean I’m going to live my life with zero expectations – it just means I’ll lower my expectations to something a little more realistic.

And now, back to studying.

Dear Mum – An open letter to the most amazing woman I know

Dear Mum,

There, I said it. You are the most amazing woman I know. You’re 100 times more amazing than Beyoncé, and that’s saying a lot coming from me.

In the lead up to Mother’s Day, I started to think about all the awesome things you’ve done for me, and I realised that I never thank you enough.

Thank you for putting up with my crazy mood swings. I know being around me during “that time of the month” is like being dragged on a roller coaster you didn’t ask to be on. You somehow manage to be calm and collected when I’ve transformed into some sort of angry ogre stomping around the house with a heat pack permanently attached to my uterus. Thank you for also being the one who reminds me that I actually have medication that prevents me from transforming into an ogre and that I should probably take it.

Thank you for putting up with the fact that I’m a horrible morning person. Thank you for your hugs. Even those air hugs we exchange when one of us is sick. They all mean a lot.

Thank you for showing me that it’s ok to be a little crazy. I love that you apologise to inanimate objects. I love that you got sad when we had to get a new fridge because our old one died. I love that you get excited about things like kookaburras on our deck, or that our fruit trees are finally bearing fruit. I love that you can laugh at yourself. I also love how confused you are around technology and I’m so proud of you for taking the plunge and getting a smart phone. I know you don’t regret your decision considering the amount of time you spend adding emoticons to your Whatsapp messages.

Thank you for your encouragement. You always remind me that my best is all I can give, and that’s enough. Just today you told me never to feel like I need to make you proud because you already are proud. Thank you for your unconditional love, your words of wisdom and your patience.

There are SO many things that I admire in you. These include:

1. Your generosity and selflessness, which I know is something you got from Ah Kong. You’re always putting others before yourself, and you’re constantly thinking of who you can give stuff to.

2. Your adventurous nature. You love trying something new, and it doesn’t matter if it doesn’t work out. It means that Dad, T and I have to eat some pretty weird stuff, but that’s ok! We’ve all gotten used to it. Sometimes you strike gold though, i.e. you recently perfected kueh lapis and chwee kueh.

3. Your passion for our Heavenly Father and your desire to further His kingdom in everything you do. I love hearing about your plans and what you want to do to serve God. I admire how you continuously try to be the salt and light. I’ll bet you have impacted so many lives.

4. Your bravery. You are one of the gutsiest people I know. I can’t imagine how difficult it was to leave Singapore. I’ve mentioned it in a previous post, but as tough as the move was on me, it must’ve been way harder for you and Dad.

All in all, I think you’re amazing. Did I say that already?

I love you, Mum. Happy Mother’s Day. One day, I hope to be just as weird/crazy/awesome as you are.

Things I’ve heard kids say – Part 2

I realised I had a poop-load more after writing the first post, so I just had to do a part 2.

1. “My favourite country is Greece because I like the movie Grease.”
Now, I didn’t actually hear this one from the girl who said it, but it has got to be one of my favourite quotes from a child ever.

2. Me: “Do you reckon you’d need to be good with animals to be a vet?”
Girl: “I’m good with animals because I have a fish and I only feed it sometimes.”
Should I be concerned?

3. Girl: When I grow up I want to be a servant.
Me: A…servant?
Girl: Yeah, like a servant at a restaurant.
Me: You mean a waitress?
Girl: Yeah, a waitress.

4. *A continuation from the conversation in #3*
Me: So, do you think you’d need to go to university to be a waitress?
Girl: Yes, coz it’s really hard work.

5. I’d just taught a lesson at Sunday School about how Jesus turned water into wine and I demonstrated this by adding purple jelly crystals to water. I was reviewing the lesson when this happened.
Me: So, Jesus turned…
Boy: Purple?!

6. While babysitting…
Girl: Get your bag, we’re going to Australia.
Me: Okay. What are we gonna do there?
Girl: Just work and stuff.
Me: Are we gonna do anything fun?
Girl: Yeah, work and stuff!

7. Me: Alright kids, it’s time to do some worship. What song would you like to sing today?
Boy: Frozen!!
Not sure if that constitutes as worship…

8. A little boy at church: You’re tall like my daddy.
Pretty sure I’m half his dad’s size.

9. I overheard this conversation on the bus one day.
Boy 1: Who’s higher up – a professor or some who has a PhD?
Boy 2: I think it’s the professor, coz he has elbow pads.

10. Me: And what do you think is in the special place that Jesus is preparing for us?
Boy: Legoland?

Um, we broke up?

Today, I’m dealing with two break ups.

Charles Trippy announced via a vlog titled We need to talk that he is “separating” from his wife, Alli. The couple married in November 2011. Charles’ YouTube channel, CTFxC, holds the world record for the most number of consecutive daily vlogs. In the 10-minute video, Charles explains that they have been arguing more than usual over the last couple of months and that it’s “not fair” for either of them to go on this way. Although he didn’t explicitly use the word “divorce”, Charles’ close friend Shay Butler inadvertently confirmed it. Charles also explained that they would continue to be friends and that he intends to keep going with the daily vlogs. Alli has made it very clear via Twitter that the split was in no way due to Charles’ illness (he has brain cancer and is currently undergoing chemotherapy).

You’d think that at a time like this, the CTFxC army (their fans) would offer support and love. However, there are insensitive, aggressive and just plain annoying people out there who choose to take sides. The whole “Team Alli vs Team Charles” thing makes me so sad. They don’t need this right now. For some reason, a small group of “fans” feel the need to place blame – some even accused Alli of infidelity. This is quite possibly the dumbest way to react to the news. I’m shocked and upset, but I love both Charles and Alli and have no intention to unsubscribe. Instead, I offer them my love and support during this tough time. I guess I kinda know what they’re going through…maybe to a lesser extent.

You know how I said I was dealing with two break ups? The second one is much harder for me to write about because it’s my own.

Two weeks ago, the boyfriend and I broke up.

Before I go on, I just have to say that there are zero hard feelings towards him.

Basically, over the past couple of months, things began to unravel. We thought we were happy and we thought we were okay. At the end of it all, we grew up and grew apart. He wasn’t happy and knew that it wasn’t fair on the both of us to keep pretending. We are both going through different seasons in our lives. He’s job hunting and I’m stressed about uni. It just wasn’t working. What hurt the most was the fact that he didn’t feel the same way any more.

I knew there was nothing I could do about it. You can’t make someone love you. Sometimes, loving someone means wanting them to be happy, even if you’re not part of that happiness.

It’s been tough, but I’ve been oddly at peace with it all. I know it was the right thing to do, hence no hard feelings towards him. We both still care about each other deeply. We always had the agreement that, should we break up, we would still remain friends. I care about him too much to completely cut him out of my life. That’s why I refuse to call him my “ex”. He’s not in my past.

I know that God’s using this to teach me and grow me. I’m so excited to see what He’s got in store in this new season of my life. I’ve been building and cultivating friendships, and using this time to do “me” things (like dyeing my hair purple). Keeping positive and living my life as usual has helped so much. It just didn’t make sense for me to cry in my room for 2 weeks and wallow in self-pity. I’d much rather be out there living, which is what I did. Having said that, I do have my bad moments/days, but I keep reminding myself that it’s okay to not be okay.

What I’m struggling with now is how to tell people. We have so many mutual friends, many who have known us for years. Dealing with other people’s expectations has been so difficult. The day it happened, I messaged all my close friends letting them know what happened, but also telling them not to make it a big deal. There are still so many people who don’t know. I almost want to make a video like Charles did and be like “Alright guys, we broke up. It is what it is. We just want your support and love. We’re still good friends so please don’t make a big deal out of it.” I guess I’ll take it one step at a time.

I’d like to take this opportunity to thank my amazing friends and family who have been my pillars in the past few weeks. You guys are part of the reason I’m taking this so well. Every where I go, I’m surrounded by so much love and concern. Whether it’s been a hug, taking time to have lunch with me and making sure I’m not alone or even just a simple message, you have all helped heaps. I have so much love for all of you.

To my Heavenly Father, I thank you for the 2 years I had with him. Thank you for the things you taught us through what we experienced together. Thank you for the love that we shared because I know that we cannot love without you who first loved us. I ask that you guide us both as we enter this new season and that you give us both the peace and joy that can only be found in you. Amen.

My Grammar Pet Peeves

I spend too much time on social media. I can spend hours trawling through YouTube, Facebook and the likes. Because of this, I see so many errors that really get on my nerves. Sometimes, I think that there needs to be a test where an individual is not allowed on the Internet until they can differentiate between your and you’re. Maybe I’m some sort of nit-picky, annoying person who sits around on her laptop laughing/crying because of the grammatical errors made by others. Or maybe I just fear for the next generation. Either way, here are 5 of my grammar pet peeves that, in my opinion, need to be fixed ASAP.

5. Your vs. You’re
This is basic grammar. Your indicates possession, e.g. Your dog is silly. You’re is the contracted form of you are, e.g. You’re silly. It’s not hard, people! If I see “Your ignorant” somewhere on the Internet, I’m the type of person who replies with “My ignorant what?” I mean, if you want to insult me, at least do it with correct grammar.

4. There/their/they’re
Again, basic grammar. Most commonly, there is used to indicate being in or at a place/position, e.g. We’ve been there. It’s also used as an exclamation, e.g. There, I said it! Their is an indication of possession, e.g. That’s their house. Lastly, they’re is a contraction of they are, e.g. They’re unable to differentiate between your and you’re. Once again, it’s really not that hard, but I see it all the time and it really gets to me.

3. “I could care less.”
So… you do care? I know people use this to mean they don’t care at all, but saying you “could care less” means you actually care to some extent. What they should say is “I couldn’t care less.” This shows that the extent to which you care cannot possibly be any lower.

2. Apostrophes
I could launch into a lengthy explanation about the appropriate use of apostrophes, but I’ll just touch on a one of the mistakes I often see – using apostrophes to indicate plurals. Recently, I saw someone title an album on Facebook “First photo’s”. Putting ‘s on the end of photo does not make it plural. There are exceptions to the rule. However, apostrophes are more commonly used in contractions (e.g. can’t, won’t, it’s) and to indicate possession (e.g. my aunt’s, your brother’s, that bar’s).

1. “should of, would of, could of”
THIS IS NOT A THING. Of all my grammar pet peeves, this takes the cake. I have no idea why this irks me so much. It just really gets on my nerves when I see someone saying they “should of stayed home tonight”. Yeah, maybe you should have. “Should of” does not exist! Neither does “could of” or “would of”! Please stop with this nonsense. It’s should have, could have and would have. Please, please, please get this right.

Having said all this, I would like to point out that I am not perfect and I do make mistakes, especially when I’m tired. I have caught myself making some of the above errors before, and I always feel so ashamed. Anyway, this post wasn’t meant to come across as judgemental or arrogant – I just get really annoyed when I keep seeing these mistakes everywhere.

21 things Ross Geller taught me.

1. Don’t count Mississippily unless specified.

2. It’s ok to refer to your soulmate as your “lobster”.

3. THEY WERE ON A BREAK.

4. You have to pivot (pronounced: pivaahtt) when carrying your couch up the stairs.

5. It’s perfectly normal to teach your son about Hanukkah dressed up as an armadillo.

6. Unagi is not just eel – it’s a state of total awareness.

7. Don’t say you won’t eat Thanksgiving dinner until you’ve correctly identified all 50 states of the US. You might starve.

8. If you’re ever nervous about public speaking, it’s ok to blurt out a foreign accent.

9. It’s ok to use your son as an excuse not to help your friend pack.

10. Never make a pros and cons list about someone you’re interested in.

11. If you do make said list, make sure that person never finds it.

12. Choreographing a dance routine with your younger sister is a great idea. You might even get the chance to do it at a taping of a TV show.

13. When driving to the airport to stop the love of your life from getting on a plane, make sure you’re going to the right airport.

14. There is a difference between “you’re” and “your”.

15. There’s nothing wrong with pronouncing everything correctly.

16. You don’t have to be 8 to love dinosaurs.

17. Karate is a viable option if you’re not getting much action in the bedroom.

18. If you want to give someone the finger without actually giving them the finger, just make up your own gesture.

19. When one of your best friends starts dating your ex-girlfriend, you don’t have to be ok with it. You also don’t have to make fajitas.

20. If you do make fajitas (and somehow get drunk in the process), make sure you wear mittens.

21. Do whatever it takes to make your baby laugh.

 

The emotional stages of a bad haircut.

I got a bad haircut last weekend. When I say “bad”, I really mean “regretful”. It was a spur of the moment decision…and I got bangs. BANGS. I’ve had bangs before. Once when I was about 5, and the second time was during the last 2 years of high school. I don’t know what compelled me to get bangs.

So anyway, I walked into some random salon because, you know, I like to live on the edge. I wouldn’t usually do this, and now I’ll never do it again because the hairdresser jacked up my hair. I asked for a trim and bangs. After the hairdresser was done, I realised it was no where near what I wanted. The bangs were far too short, like, above my eyebrows short. Anyway, I realise that I’m probably to blame because I didn’t give clear enough instructions or something. Still, I’ve been on a crazy emotional roller-coaster this past week regarding my hair and that’s what prompted me to write this post. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you ‘The emotional stages of a bad haircut’.

Stage 1: Confidence
This stage comes before the actual haircut. It’s the stage where you’ve decide on your cut and you’re confident it won’t fail. If it’s a new style, you’ve probably researched it heaps. And by “researched” I mean “spent 4 hours on Google images looking at hair models and gaining unrealistic expectations”. By this time you’ve also got a hairdresser/salon in mind and you make the appointment. You’re so excited to have a new ‘do. When you get to the hairdresser’s, you confidently explain what you want done. Sometimes, there’ll be a particularly judgemental hairdresser whose umms and ahhs start to unsettle you a little bit. But they’re usually very accommodating and listen to what you want.

Stage 2: During the cut
So you’ve explained what you wanted and you’re sitting in the chair as the hairdresser starts to prep you. When they start cutting, all you can think to yourself is “OMG I can’t wait to see how this turns out!” You’ve still got that hair model’s picture you saw on Google images in mind. And, if you’re anything like me, you’re probably planning an Instagram photo and contemplating the caption and the hashtags you’ll use. (Because, you know, they’re important life decisions.) All is well and good until you start to realise that the hairdresser is taking more hair off than you thought they would. This starts to worry you a little bit, but you reassure yourself that the hairdresser is a professional and that they know what they’re doing. It’ll be alright in the end. Or so you think…

Stage 3: That sinking feeling
You realise that your hair is looking nothing like that picture you found on Google. And what’s worse, the hairdresser has stopped cutting and picked up a mirror to show you their handiwork. They ask if you like it. You make awkward eye contact through the mirror, plaster a smile to your face and nod. As they start packing up, you inspect your hair closer.  There’s a pit in your stomach as you come to the realisation that this is your hair now. And it’s nothing like what you thought it would be. Bye bye Instagram photo. You start to plan the best route to get home without seeing anyone you know.

Stage 4: Post-hair cut regret
Now that you’ve made it home with as little human contact as possible, you fall to your knees and cry out “WHYYYYYYY?!?!?! Why did I think this would look good? Why did I even try something new? WHYYYYY.” You begin to wallow in self-pity. You’ll never leave the house again. People will look at you funny. People will judge. People will know you tried to look cool but failed. We all know that this doesn’t actually happen, but these are the thoughts that went through my mind when I was at this stage.

Stage 5: Can we fix it?
You try to salvage your ‘do. Perhaps it’s blow-drying it a certain way, straightening it, wearing a head band/scarf/beanie or putting it up in a bun. You do whatever it takes to make it look somewhat normal or acceptable by your standards. Stage 5 can progress into Stage 5a: Frustration during which you threaten to shave all your hair off if it doesn’t behave. I don’t know anyone who has actually gone through with Stage 5a.

Stage 6: Acceptance
After hours of standing in front of the mirror, you get to a stage where it doesn’t really matter anymore. Maybe it’s not so bad. Maybe some people will like it. Maybe it’ll be okay. There’s nothing much you can do about your new hair. Right now, the best thing to do is wait for it to grow out so you can get it cut again. Hopefully the next time you get it cut, it won’t end up like this…

Things I’ve heard kids say.

A lot of what I do involves working with children and that means I get to hear MANY of the things they say.

1. Kid: I know what the red and green lights do.
Me: Okay, what does the red light do?
Kid: Stop!
Me: What about the green light?
Kid: Go!
Me: Good! What about the orange light?
Kid: *looks confused* There is no orange light?!

2. Me while teaching my lesson at Sunday school: …and Jesus frees people.
Kid: He doesn’t FREEZE people?!

3. While reading a children’s Bible to a 2.5 year-old girl…
Me: Mary was looking forward to getting married.
Girl: I’m looking forward to getting married too!
I told her Dad to keep an eye on her.

4. Girl 1: I’m allergic to bacon.
Me: Umm, sure, okay.
Girl 2: Wait, do you eat pork?
Girl 1: Yeah, I eat pork.

5. Me while teaching about good turns at Guides: So, what are some examples of good turns you do?
Girl: I help Mum carry the shopping, I give Mum massages and help her cook.
Me: You do all those things?
Girl: Nope.

6. One of the activities for Guides was sorting different currencies into different categories, i.e. paper vs plastic or sorting by countries. I overheard one group sorting the notes into “old” and “young” so I wandered over to investigate.
Me: Oh, so you’re sorting the notes into old notes and new notes?
Girl: Nope, we’re sorting them by the people on the note.
Me: Huh?
Girl: If the guy on the note is old, it goes in this pile. If he’s young, it goes in this pile.
Genius.

7. While babysitting one day, myself and the young girl were playing with blocks when she suddenly exclaims “Boys wee standing up!”
Me: O…kay?
Girl: And girls wee sitting down!
Me: Umm…
I mean, how am I supposed to respond to that?

8. Girl: Umm, excuse me? I’m allergic to salad.
Me: I’m sure you are…

9. While playing with stuffed toys…
Girl: Ted goes next to Hippo the Thomas.
Me: Next to who?
Girl: Hippo the Thomas!
She meant hippopotamus. So much cute.

10. Me: You have a new baby sister – how exciting!
Boy: Yeah, her name is Alyssa.
Me: That’s such a pretty name!
Boy: Well, it used to be a secret. And then she got borned and then we told everyone.

Road trip!

I just got home from an amazing four days down at Rye with some uni friends. I can tell you that planning and organising gave me so much anxiety. Finding and booking a holiday house took a while, but in the end we found a house that was well within our budget and appeared to be fairly reasonable. Little did we know that the house was everything we needed and more. In fact, this whole trip came at a perfect time for all of us.

We set off on Thursday morning and got to Rye at lunchtime. The girls’ car pumped the Frozen and High School Musical soundtracks while the boys listened to ghetto music apparently. We bought lunch and ate at front beach, enjoying the sunshine, the view and each other’s company. We agreed that the next couple of days would be completely care-free. We wouldn’t worry about time or any of the other things we would usually stress about. I decided not to check my emails and to check Facebook/Instagram as little as possible.

As I said before, the house we stayed at was perfect. It was a short walk from Rye’s back beach and a short drive (less than 10 minutes) from the front beach. As soon as we walked in and I saw the looks of amazement on my friends’ faces, all anxiety about the house disappeared from my brain. It was incredibly clean and immaculately maintained. It was a modest size, but was fully equipped.

We decided to walk down to back beach to catch the sunset, and boy am I glad we did. I don’t know if there ever was anything as beautiful as what I saw that evening. As we stood on the rocks watching the sunset in comfortable silence, I could not help but praise God for His amazing creation. I was in awe of how beautiful and perfect it was. And as I looked at the people standing around me, I knew that this trip was going to be nothing short of memorable.

Our days were filled with sun, sand and swimming. We even made a sand version of Olaf! It took us almost an hour to construct him but I’m very proud of our efforts. Our nights were filled with games, movies, singing at the top of our lungs, deep and meaningful conversations, dancing and star-gazing. As the days passed, it became evident that this trip could not have come at a more perfect time for all of us, each for different reasons. For myself, I needed time away from the anxiety. That inner critic came out only twice for the entire four days, and each time, I was able to take away her megaphone. Before this trip, I was worried that the way uni was structured this year would shake up some of my friendships. I came home with confidence that these people were too special and too important to me for something to get in the way. I also came home with almost no voice – but I don’t really care because that voice was used to belt out some awesome songs.

I had an amazing time away and I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect four days. I’m now suffering from post-road trip blues 😦 I guess I’ll have to keep looking at photos until the next road trip!